Why Incredible Women Often Have the Worst Dating Experiences

DanielleYou’re smart, you’re independent, you’re beautiful, sexy, AND single! You’re a total catch for any man you meet, yet amidst all your efforts to date and find love, instead you find yourself reeling in the agony of bad dates and even worse relationships.

Chances are, you and even some of your girlfriends know some really incredible women who are in this scenario right now. So how is it, that in all your bad-ass brilliance, you seem to have one of the worst dating lives?

Today’s dating age has left numerous women questioning this very same thing.


Who are these women and what do they want?

I know who you women are, I was one of them for many years myself. I thought choosing to date after several long term relationships would be fun, and at times I even believed it would be easy. I had never had any troubles dating before. Only this time, I showed up in the dating world as an enlightened women looking to grow. Seeking companionship that was not confining, but riddled with potential for my partner and I to grow together rather than apart. What I found instead was that dating can be exhausting. It can be draining and it definitely can be maddening.

So why does it feel so difficult? Why do we goddesses end up in one romantic disaster after another? Truth is, we aren’t here to find BASIC love. We are here to find TRUE love that will flourish. We choose to not invest our time in relationships that we are clear do not serve our higher purpose.

Why is modern dating so hard?

Here are several reasons why incredible women have a hard time dating:


Time and time again I am reminded of how many guys (AKA not Mr. Right) are intimidated and do not know how to handle strong, powerful women. They confuse passion for intensity. Men who tend to feel this way often have fragile egos and fear the confidence of a woman can overshadow their masculine being. Little do they know how wise they would really be to have such a powerful women on their arm. Do they not see the appeal of an actual Power Couple?


Many men like the feeling of being needed and depended upon, while independent women are the polar opposite. See the disconnect? Traditionally men believed that women should fulfill his need before their own need. Welcome to 2018! As independent women, we do not need a man to feel worthy of our own accomplishments and pursuits. We know that in order to take care of, or love anyone else, we get to take care of and love ourselves first. We value our dreams, and we tend to use our ambition to propel us further whether you choose to join us or not.



Powerful women are intuitive women, and our intuition is almost ALWAYS spot on. We require respect, and won’t settle for anything less. We can easily sense any signs of toxic, nonsense behavior, and we have no shame in calling men out on it. Most of the time our defenses stem from our experiences or observations and involve a zero-tolerance policy. The men we find difficult to date are unwilling or able to handle such clarity. We believe that communication aids in bridging our differences and growing together. It would seem most men aren’t interested in real communication.


Some of the coolest and most unique women I know come with a sincere quirky side. It is not only refreshing, but inspiring. For many this can be hard to understand, but when given the time to dig deep into these fun traits you are always left with a multitude of surprises that never get old. Many guys don’t know how to act around these girls, much less understand them. And that’s okay. It’s not because they don’t want to understand, its simply because they have never been given the opportunity to. The catch – we don’t need anyone to approve of our quirks, we simply embrace them.


Us bad-ass women are genuinely KILLING IT in life. Our focus tends to sway away from the mere need of finding love. As a truly motivated woman, we focus on elevating our lives with things that serve a purpose, we are chasing our dreams, and seek to create a legacy and make a difference, not chasing a man. If the men you are dating are not on this level themselves, they are unable to embrace and flourish alongside you. Much like all relationships in life, people can only meet you in life where they are able to meet themselves.


While we may be intimidating, a little weird, and are true goal chasers and achievers, we are strong, and we truly love. When we love, we love HARD. Our love is unapologetic. While we don’t need a relationship to thrive, we are grateful for love when able to give and share it. We take massive pride in the relationships we have, and it takes a special kind of strong, willing man to nurture this love alongside us. We seek a partner in crime, a best friend, someone to chase dreams with.



As difficult as dating may seem for us, believe it or not, the guys we are ultimately seeking often are the ones that have an equally difficult time finding amazing women. After all, we are diamonds in the rough, rare gems to be discovered in this world, and only when we look hard and never settle within our standards do we allow the man we’ve been waiting for to find and embrace the love that awaits him.

In the end…

The truth is, us amazing women have a lot to bring to the table when it comes to a relationship. We don’t settle for mediocrity or passiveness. We aren’t content with the average life; we’re looking for magic. And if we are left with the choice between a basic relationship or doing our own thing, chances are we will do our own thing until we run into someone as equally passionate, driven, and weird as we are!

We are here, gentlemen But you’ll have to keep up.

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